11 Reflections: Why are traditional methods of raising children no longer effective?

The following article was written by a lady with the pseudonym "Niana", one of the authors of the site https://szulo2pont0.hu/. I would now like to share it with the reminder that your child is your master and teaches you.

The more conscious you are about your life and yourself, the easier it will be to resolve situations during child-rearing.

Let us remember that everything is part of a process that requires perseverance and commitment, so that we can see not only ourselves, but also our child in their "human fallibility".

October 12, 2017
Why are traditional methods of raising children no longer effective?

There are many answers to this question. One finds the answer in the challenges of the information society, the other in the changed system of relationships. And there may be many more diverse reasons, which collectively cause the helplessness that surprises parents and teachers in connection with the alpha generation.

They are the ones who are sitting in the school desks today, whom we meet on playgrounds and in kindergartens. We try to approach them with the same solutions as we approached similar age groups in recent decades. But we often experience that we bounce back; we do not have the same effect on them.

There is often no common platform and terrain for cooperation. Their attitude changes from one day to the next. We have difficulty finding the key, the way, and even if we do, it is not at all certain that the same thing will work the next day.

They react extremely sensitively to the many stimuli that affect them, while countless phenomena pass by them untouched.

They are armed with an awful lot of knowledge, well-informed and can talk about topics that we had only vague ideas about when we were teenagers.

According to one approach, this is a battle of intellect and emotion. The heart and the mind are fighting each other. And this is the rebellion of our children when they are confronted with the fact that rationality, objective progress, competition, assertion, the reason-driven side of the world is becoming strong and dominant.

A lot of cleverness, rational and conscious behaviour blocks the inner child's world, which could allow intuition, emotional intelligence, and the experience of unconscious vibrations to flourish.

They do not have the time or the opportunity to connect with each other, with themselves, with their environment and with the situations they have experienced.

They cannot develop an emotional relationship with the world that surrounds them, because we always explain, interpret, and place everything in the light of utility and usability.

However, children have an innate ability to immerse themselves in their own magical world, to experience happiness, disappointment, joy, and sorrow with great emotional intensity, and to gain experiences that completely ignore rationality.

Let's call it play, idleness, cloudless childhood, whatever.

But if they don't get to do this, if serious or increasingly serious adults want to integrate unruly souls into their own world as soon as possible, if we load them with responsibility, tasks, and expectations and pour all this on them with a good dose of moral preaching, then we are not getting closer to them, but rather pushing them further away and increasingly supporting the children's rebellion.

Rebellion is a lack of attention, concentration, aggression, loudness, difficulty in handling, and disrespect. They respond to a lack of connection with a lack of connection.

It's as if they are disconnecting from the system. The rebellion of children, the rebellion of machines that no longer want to carry out the central will.

Instead, they want to live their own, individual path, their nature. They need emotional experiences and attachment. Not just to people, but to the world. So that they experience the events that happen to them not only with their minds, but also with their other senses and emotions.

We can help them if we can approach them with our hearts and not our heads. If they can experience that we are not standing by them - whether we are parents or teachers - because we have a serious goal or plan for them, but simply for the joy of being together, for the sake of joint activity, for their mere existence, then they will begin to dissolve, the ice will melt.

If we can truly immerse ourselves in their uniqueness, their clumsiness, their kindness or even their clumsiness, if their mere existence can be a value without any goals and results to be achieved, then perhaps we can understand how they translate the events around them, how they decode the world and help them become more harmonious, more cooperative children and adults.

Last but not least, we can give ourselves and them some beautiful and cloudless moments.

And how can we be so irresponsible? Why be at all? We have no information about what the world will need in thirty or forty years, just as we have no certainty that they will benefit from all the knowledge and responsibility we want to instil in them now.

So why shouldn't we make each other and ourselves feel good, here and now?!