19 Reflections: Understanding Pain and Suffering

Pain is like a language our body uses to talk to us. It tells us when something is wrong inside or when something outside is hurting us.

Pain forces us to act immediately. It creates a "bad" feeling now to protect us from a much worse situation later. Physical pain also reminds us how fragile we are, which teaches us to be humble.

Emotional pain is when we feel things like sadness, loneliness, or disappointment. Interestingly, our brain processes physical and emotional pain in the same areas. This means our brain doesn’t really see a difference between them; it treats both as a danger and wants us to act right away.

People say that pain is unavoidable, but suffering is something we can control with our mindset.

Pain is a sharp signal in the present moment.

Suffering is the story we build around that pain.

While pain is usually physical and happens "now," suffering is mental. It lives in the past (regretting things) or in the future (worrying about things).

Suffering often comes from our desires and attachments. We want pleasant things to stay forever and unpleasant things to disappear instantly. Suffering is basically holding onto pain and resisting it instead of letting it go.

If we understand the purpose of pain—why it exists and what it is trying to show us—it begins to make sense. Suffering feels destructive only when we think it is unfair or meaningless.

I choose where to focus. I decide my intentions. My actions (or lack of actions) in the present reflect my own decisions. Pain helps us grow because it shows us what we need to pay attention to.

I admit, this is much easier said than actually done every day. But when things get hard, I remind myself: I always have the responsibility—and the power—to choose how I respond.