Reflections

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14 Reflections: How much can we be actively present for the other? Let it be our child or another person?

How much can we be actively present for the other? Let it be our child or another person?

One of the most frustrating situations is when our child turns to us, for example, after waking up a little, and says, "Let's play!"

"Oh my God", we think, right now, when we should be cooking, washing, shopping, making an important call, or who knows what else, and our child only asks us to play.

In many cases, we sit down, play for a while, and then "just like that" start doing something else in parallel, so that the day goes by. Or we simply explain to our child that we will deal with him soon, but first, we will quickly do a few small things.

Our frustrated child tries to keep himself busy, while he continues to bombard us with questions, and we answer him verbally to calm our conscience, that is, we are verbally present, our gaze rests on him for a fleeting moment, and then moves on just as quickly...

And here the value of attention, the magic of the moment, is lost.

The child often only wants (what we adults do too) to have their thoughts heard, to be the centre of the parent's attention, to feel that nothing and no one is more important at that moment than they are. If we give it to him, we show that we value his little being, accept him as he is, without reacting to anything, or teaching him new things, or perhaps correcting him.

By maintaining constant eye contact, we are just present and paying attention with our whole being to the little miracle in front of us.

If we practice this type of attention, we serve as a role model for our child, which, seeping into his subconscious, can help him in his adult communication. Because he will unconsciously know that, as an attentive listener who not only listens to the other person's point of view, with interest, without wanting to express only his own truth or opposition, he will become a person who can respect the other person's personality.

And the way I treat my environment and others, I also teach them how to be treated.

That is why it is important for me as a parent to be aware of this "theory" and to set a positive example for my child by actively practising it.

It is possible to change our fixations, which requires perseverance, attention, active presence, and at the centre of which is ourselves.

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15 Reflections: Belief Systems

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15 Reflections: The Social Veneer: Authenticity at Home

We often wear a "cultural glaze" for the outside world, but at home, all I want to do is relax and let it all go. By the time we return from work, we are often exhausted by the hustle and bustle of our daily responsibilities.

As long as we live alone or as a couple, this state of exhaustion is (at best) manageable. After all, it is easier for two independent, responsible adults—who have chosen to live together with mutual consideration—to adapt to one another’s moods and needs.

Once children enter the picture, however, this idyll often retreats into the distant corners of our memory. This is especially true unless a family has a strong support system (kind, helpful grandparents nearby, reliable siblings, neighbours, or friends). Without that "safety valve," the pressure of tense situations can build up and cause significant damage.

Alternatively, harmony is possible when parents are self-aware. If they recognize how their daily routine affects them and others, they can develop a communication style based on honest, trusting, and understanding dialogue to resolve tension.

Where does the "cultural glaze" come in? Most of us play many different roles throughout the day. We interact with the world based on social expectations, which frequently requires us to be polite, kind, and overly accommodating. Often, we do this without being able to express what we truly think or feel about a situation.

In many circles, being completely honest is seen as "social suicide." Yet, in the long run, failing to be honest is a lie we tell ourselves. How does this relate to conscious parenting?

A tired parent returning home wants to rest, retreat, and recharge. Instead, they must rush to pick up their child from school or kindergarten. Upon arriving home, they are immediately overwhelmed by domestic worries, a never-ending to-do list, and the "come-play-with-me" energy of their child.

Children live entirely in the present moment. During socialization, this presence gradually fades as their consciousness begins to focus more on the past and the future. A conscious parent recognizes this. Instead of dragging the child into their own hurried world, the parent strives to let the child pull them back into the present.

The moment of reunion is an opportunity to connect with another soul. Who could be more important to us than our own child? They wait all day to be reunited with the loving, attentive, and protective presence of their parents.

Many parents, under the guise of this "cultural veneer," are kind to everyone outside the home. This wears down their patience and self-esteem. By the time they return home, they have nothing left for their family—the very people who need their kindness, understanding, and love the most.

A conscious parent strives for harmony between their outer persona and their inner world. They know that this alignment makes them more likely to truly "meet" their child at the end of the day. It allows them to provide emotional (and not just financial) support to that tiny human being who depends on them to learn how to become a person of value.

Mastering this is a lifelong task and one of our most beautiful challenges. We grow alongside our children; getting to know ourselves better facilitates their growth as well.

Culture is, and always will be, a part of our lives. Like good makeup, it can be refined and adjusted to match our true selves. The energy invested in this process pays off immensely over time, though it is often difficult to start, and the risk of "relapsing" into old habits is always there.

Those who dislike such challenges can simply pick up the remote and absorb whatever message the culture is currently broadcasting. But those interested in self-development and progress should take the reins and live life "live."

The Force is with us—and with you, whether you believe it or not!

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17 Reflections: Reference points

Reference points

Why are they there and why are they important?

What is a reference point “officially”?

“A reference point is a point, object or system considered fixed, relative to which we determine the position, movement or change of another body.

It is necessary in physics and everyday life because movement and position are relative – they cannot be interpreted in themselves, only in relation to something else.”

Why is this important to us?

Just think about it, from the moment of our birth, without “reference points”, we would not be able to “interpret” anything in our lives, to handle it “in its place”.

Our parents, the house, the family environment, the religion in the community, and the awareness of identity all appear as reference points. Compared to these, we will be able to begin to “define ourselves”.

The reference point or points in themselves, when looking at the outside world, can often prove to be "not enough", so it is worth thinking in reference systems.

The reference system includes:

the reference point,

directions (where is forward, up, down, etc.)

time measurement, time scale (when do we start observing, how long does it last).

The family structure, parents, siblings, relatives, the way they relate to us, their presence, and their absence, are all "systems".

Kindergarten, then school, teachers, and classmates are others.

As we grow, we encounter larger and more complex systems. We learn more and more about system elements and the rules associated with them.

Too much information, too much data, too many reference points and systems can overwhelm us with time. Especially when we need and want to constantly comply with elements that are very different from one another.

How can we avoid, treat, and possibly systematically eliminate the state of “system freeze” (apathy, depression, listlessness, giving up, hopelessness, and the like)?

How can we start looking inward? To find our inner centre. Our own gravitational point, inner self. To hear our inner voice. The directions that form within us.

How does this happen?

With self-observation.

With small steps. Persistently.

With simple, honest statements.

What is it that we like, what is it that we don’t? What is it that still fits in, and what is it that no longer fits in? What is it that I want, and what is it that I no longer have, or not at all?

Recognizing and defining these helps us to better, easier, and truer alignment with others and the outside world. And through them, we show the outside world how to align with us more harmoniously.

It teaches us to choose, decide and take responsibility for ourselves, especially if we want to support ourselves and not destroy ourselves.

Because self-denial, even if it sometimes appears as politeness, consideration, or selflessness, is self-destructive in the long run.

Interesting fact: There is no "absolute" reference point in space. Even the Sun moves relative to the centre of the galaxy, and our galaxy moves relative to other galaxies. Everything is just a matter of perspective!

Every moment is ours to make a more supportive decision for ourselves and to implement it.

You can choose to do your job and, at the same time, support and help others in ways that resonate with your real values.

It will work, do you believe it?

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18 Reflections: Judgement and love cannot coexist.

Judgement and love cannot coexist.

When I judge anything, it means I question the perfection of creation.

Everything has its place in existence.
Otherwise, it would not be there; it would not exist.

What I have in my mind and heart as thoughts and feelings that will be and are reflected in the outside world through different “players”, and very similar scenarios.

After observing them long enough, I can discover the patterns.

Once I see them, I can deal with their lack of acceptance.

Negative feelings are based on fear and lack high-jacking my inner peace and self-love.

The first step of love is acceptance.

What I judge in others is something I either deny having in me, or I do with others or to myself. I have not integrated them in me with kindness, understanding and letting go.

Stopping for a moment to have a reality check is a necessary daily act.

Unless I take the time to understand why these moments recur, they will keep finding their way to me—persisting until they are finally processed and released.

There are many ways to do that.

ThetaHealing is one of them.

Choose yourself, and meet yourself honestly.

It is worth the effort.

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19 Reflections: Understanding Pain and Suffering

Pain is like a language our body uses to talk to us. It tells us when something is wrong inside or when something outside is hurting us.

Pain forces us to act immediately. It creates a "bad" feeling now to protect us from a much worse situation later. Physical pain also reminds us how fragile we are, which teaches us to be humble.

Emotional pain is when we feel things like sadness, loneliness, or disappointment. Interestingly, our brain processes physical and emotional pain in the same areas. This means our brain doesn’t really see a difference between them; it treats both as a danger and wants us to act right away.

People say that pain is unavoidable, but suffering is something we can control with our mindset.

Pain is a sharp signal in the present moment.

Suffering is the story we build around that pain.

While pain is usually physical and happens "now," suffering is mental. It lives in the past (regretting things) or in the future (worrying about things).

Suffering often comes from our desires and attachments. We want pleasant things to stay forever and unpleasant things to disappear instantly. Suffering is basically holding onto pain and resisting it instead of letting it go.

If we understand the purpose of pain—why it exists and what it is trying to show us—it begins to make sense. Suffering feels destructive only when we think it is unfair or meaningless.

I choose where to focus. I decide my intentions. My actions (or lack of actions) in the present reflect my own decisions. Pain helps us grow because it shows us what we need to pay attention to.

I admit, this is much easier said than actually done every day. But when things get hard, I remind myself: I always have the responsibility—and the power—to choose how I respond.

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20 Reflections: Are you your own authority?

Are you your own authority?

In our minds, authority is associated with someone, a group, or a group of people representing an institution that sets rules and frameworks to be complied with.

Some of them are “inbuilt”, deeply rooted in the religion, traditions and social structures of the people of the land.

Some of them are outdated, others are to be cherished, keeping them alive.

We need these frameworks as children to “place ourselves” on the game board of Earthly experiences.

With time, some of the structures start to feel overwhelming, controlling, and suffocating. That is the moment when our soul and heart start to question what serves its evolution the highest and best.

Freedom of spirit also comes with remembering that we are the authority of our own existence.

It is easier said than implemented.

It is a choice not to look to the experts, the gurus, the parents, the partners, the government, or the system for directions.

Choosing not to outsource our power to anyone else requires bravery, courage, dedication, decision, and action.

We need clarity, discernment, and trust in source energy, the Creation, and so on, that we are supported on this path.

Choosing yourself means seeing and understanding the real needs, desires, and the call of your soul.

And it needs shadow work. Meeting your fears for the consequences of setting boundaries, saying no to parents, peers, partners, etc., and choosing your inner truth.

It takes time. Change is a process. And there are fallbacks, trials showing us where we stand.

This is part of our spiritual evolution. No one pushes you but yourself. You set the tempo.

Remember, you can be the Authority of your life, your thoughts, and your actions.

You belong to yourself. Anything else is the “setting”, the script that helps you see where you stand and what you want or do not want, in this Earthly experience.

Choose liberation of your existence, detaching from your imagined attachments and binding energies of any nature, inherited, learnt, or picked up on your life path until this very moment.

You have the powers, and you can do it.

Trust the process, trust your inner truth.

And remember, we are together on this journey.

21 Reflections: Beauty and inner harmony together and separately

Beauty and inner harmony together and separately

When we wake up in the morning and look in the mirror, most of us, let's be honest, are mostly just intimidated, or maybe even terrified, by our still-messy reflection.

Then, with a cold face wash, we start our morning routine, and by the time we get dressed and drink our current hot beverage, we already feel more composed and certainly more beautiful.

The concept of beauty varies across societies, where ideals constantly change.

This is a wonderful and reassuring fact – “from afar”.

Up close, what matters is how we feel in our own skin and how we relate to our own human, female or male appearance.

In today's modern world, the filters of social media and now the pixel-perfectness of images generated by AI can, unfortunately, cause body image disorders in our already fragile self-image if we are not sufficiently emotionally and mentally stable.

The image of ourselves can be damaged in childhood. The way our parents and our immediate environment treated us or even how they treat us now leaves its mark on our self-image, whether positively or negatively.

Even as adults, we may be blessed with a perfect exterior, yet internal emotional anxieties may prevent us from self-acceptance and joy. And this will show on us over time.

We can bring part of our emotional and mental stability from a relatively healthy family environment, or throughout our lives, and we can build them up and build them for ourselves, along with our experiences.

The need for self-knowledge is intrinsically motivated.

Self-acceptance is a process based on self-knowledge, permission, understanding, and release, on multiple levels.

On a practical level, we rebuild our connection with our body, and in parallel with our soul.

Self-identity builds self-confidence, leading to the choice of healthier options. It improves and strengthens our self-confidence, resulting in an authentic, incredible individual radiance."

And this radiance is magnetic. Because it is sincere, because it is in harmony with ourselves and the life force within us. Our true self shines through our body; we radiate.

This soul radiance is naturally radiant and attractive.

Our physical body needs attention and presence just as much as our soul. Inner harmony and outer beauty also require attention, care, and presence.

My own responsibility is to nourish, protect, and pamper my body and soul in the highest, best way possible. Let us remember that with every small “self-choice” I can do something for my beauty, for the restoration of my inner harmony. Intention and perseverance count here, too.

Beauty is a celebration of diversity, where I am in harmony with myself and accept the otherness within and outside myself with gratitude for being born as a human being, a wonderful part of creation.

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22 Reflections: follow your excitement, light vs dark

So the more you follow your excitement, the more aware you will become of the negative ideas in your consciousness.

What does it mean?

First of all, do you know what lights your heart up?

Is it legal?

Does it do good for you?

Does it harm others?

Is it allowed by your parents, extended family, religion, etc.?

What if you feel a desire to do things that either ruin your physical vessel, mental health, emotional life, or those of others?

Finding answers for these questions is a great quest in its own merit.

Many of us do not know what we want.

Many of us limit ourselves in our expansion towards joy with beliefs like:

I am too old.

It is not for me.

They will not understand it.

I cannot afford it.

I do not know where to start.

It is too late.

My family will turn their back on me if they figure it out.

My partner will leave me.

I do not have the resources (the place, the money, the support, etc.).

Change is not for me.

I am too lazy. I

will fail.

Why try at all?

So your excitement about joy will automatically bring to your attention any ‘darkness’, any negative ideas or definitions that are present within you.

Why? To bring your attention to them so that you can work with them and integrate them.

They are there for you to make a choice. Either you choose to remain as you are and keep repeating situations and relationships, reactions, etc., or you choose to recognize the pattern, your pattern, for bringing light to the darkness within you.

So anytime following your excitement brings you to that crossroad where you are forced to face something within yourself you may not prefer, your first and most positive and constructive response can be: thanking joy to open your eyes to your shadow parts because now you can turn the darkness into light.

How? Choosing consciously different ways to react. Learning how to change, relate and respond.

Any choice you make is valid. That is your truth in the moment. Being kind to yourself and taking responsibility for how you relate to your human existence is a great step towards having more light and excitement, the highest and best in your life.

Embracing the polarity with self-compassion, the light within the dark and the dark within the light, is another step towards remembrance.

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23 Reflections: What is True Freedom?

Epictetus was one of the greatest thinkers in history, but he started his life as a slave. Even though he was treated cruelly and kept in chains, he didn't let bitterness take over. Instead, he discovered a powerful truth: his body was trapped, but his mind was free.

He taught that the bad things happening to us aren't what cause us pain. Instead, it is how we think about those things that makes us suffer.

Epictetus believed everything falls into one of two groups:

Things you can control: your own thoughts, your actions, and how you react to others.

Things you cannot control: other people’s opinions, the weather, or what happened in the past.

For example, if a rainstorm ruins your outdoor plans, that is just nature. Being angry about it is a choice you make. Or, if someone says something mean, those are just words. Feeling hurt is a decision your mind makes.

What is True Freedom?

Being "free" isn't about your situation; it’s about your mindset. When you stop worrying about things you can't change, you gain total power over the things you can.

The things that hold us back aren't made of metal chains—they are made of our own struggle to accept reality.

ThetaHealing® is a modality that assists in better tuning into your own feelings, thougths and beliefs. Its technique is understandable and comprehensible to all who resonate with this modality.

Follow your heart's direction, following your path.

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